Trust Issues.

AN: Okay This is Nicki’s P.O.V so “I” means Nicki. Okay? I hope you guys understand. Read ON!!!

Trust Part 1.

                      I have given myself multiple chances at love, but not one has lasted. I wonder every night; Is it me? Or the way I am? The way I look? Who I am? Or what I have? Men just seem to not be as interested in me as they do certain women. Maybe I should just give up…

                                                                                          Nicki.

The storm outside progressed, and the lights flickered. I know in a few minutes Lily will be in her crying her eyes out. She couldn’t help being just like me. Weird that she didn’t get any of her father’s traits. She didn’t even look like him. I know he asks himself; “Is this my child?” multiple times. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell him she was another man’s child. I think he knew something was up anyway.

The lights flickered once again. I flinched and whimpered. My fiancé wasn’t here to protect me. I’m guessing he had a busy day at work. Today I was off. I spent most of the day giving the attention I haven’t been giving to my daughter. You could say it was sort of a catching up day, except her “Father” wasn’t here to share the day with up. I wish we could have chosen a more flexible career, but hey, the pay is great so I’m really not complaining.

Soft footsteps lightly ran through the hallway. If you were quiet enough you could hear them clearly enough.

“Mommy!” 

I let out a small smile. I knew this was coming.

“Hey baby. What’s wrong?” I asked looking at her as she stood in the doorway, looking adorable as ever.

“I can’t sleep.” She said as it was followed by a sniffle. She had been crying.

“C’mere, you can lay with mommy.”

She rubbed at her eyes sleepily. She slowly walked towards me, her eyes barely open. She hitched onto the bed as her nails clawed into the comforter as she tried to get onto the all bed. I snuggled my face into her hair as I hummed a soft lullaby as she drifted off. I slowly closed my eyes becoming relaxed by the soft humming coming from myself.

A loud crackle of thunder roared through the house as lightning shined through the Victorian sized home. I looked down realizing my princess had fallen asleep already. I needed some shut eye, a busy day awaited me. I closed my eyes slowly and drifted off.

“Stop. I have to go.”

“No you don’t. She can wait whoever she is.”

I looked at her I was hurting Nicki and we were getting married in less than a month. I wasn’t devoting my time to this and it was hurting me, because I was hurting her.

“My fiancé. And I do have to leave.” Jay pushed away from her harder. She wanted sex and he wasn’t giving it… tonight.

“Call me at least.”

I looked back heading for the door. Not to mention, I could lose my job. No one was in this building this late… little did I know.

-

“Nic.”

The large hand shook me as I blinked a couple of times. I was confused, and mad due to being interrupted of my needed slumber.

“Wake up.”

I heard the deep voice say. Sitting up I rubbed my eyes. I didn’t see Lily next to me.

“Jay, where’s lily?”

He sat at the edge of the bed, “In her room.”

“Why’d you move her? She could’ve slept here.”

He shrugged. He reached to kiss me. The scent on his clothes caught my attention. It smelled quite different.

“Why do you smell different?”

“Huh?” He hollered from the closet. I didn’t ask again, because I knew my guess would be right anyway. I sat up and got off the bed. I trudged lazily downstairs and into the kitchen. I heard his heavy footsteps following. I heated me some hot chocolate.

He looked at me, “You didn’t fix me any?”

I pointed to the pantry. I watched him walk toward the hot chocolate box and grab a packet. He followed the directions and I watched him, wanting to ask…

“Where were you?”

He looked back, “My job. Where were you?”

“Here, with my family. Somewhere you weren’t.”… “You’ve been working a lot lately.”

“The more money the better… right?”

I nodded. The thing is I haven’t seen an increase n any of his checks in… months!

“What about-“

“Nic, no more questions please?”

“Are you cheating?” I blurted out. He looked surprised. I regretted asking. Why couldn’t I just trust him? I had no proof obviously.

“Why the hell would you think that?!”

I jumped. He never yelled. “I-I’m sorry. Just forget I asked okay?”

He sighed and looked at me, “C’mere.”

I walked over to him. He lifted me onto the counter and I looked directly at him, reading him.

“I could never do you like that. I wouldn’t cheat. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. So don’t worry about it.”

I looked down, “I know. Forget I asked.” I said sadly. He lifted my chin and kissed my lips softly. I needed him and tonight that. Love making was just a good at 3 in the morning. He lifted me and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He kissed my lips as out tongues wrestled. I couldn’t lie, he could defiantly please me. I wasn’t fully in it though. My mind wandered somewhere else. Drake.